Confused by the maze of dating services?

Our handbook demystifies the "meet market"—so you can single out a marvelous man!

By Lee Kravitz

How do you unearth a diamond in a field of rhinestones? Finding the right person with whom to have a relationship has never been easy, so if you're single—68 million adult Americans are—chances are you've tried, or considered, some matchmaking help.

Hilary, thirty-six, admits she's sampled many matchmaking gimmicks, including networking parties, in her search for a suitable mate. The most practical, in her opinion, is video dating. Personal ads, say Hilary, are not personal enough. "I once placed an ad, got one hundred and twenty-five responses, and went out on six dates. Most of the men misrepresented themselves," she recalls. "One said he was forty-two but had to be at least sixty-two. Another sent two pictures of himself—at his country home on a horse, and in his two-seat Mercedes. It turned out that the house belonged to his friend, and the Mercedes had been repossessed." Hilary then tried a dating service. "The first guy who called me said he was depressed because he'd just lost his business, weighed two hundred fifty pounds, and did I mind, I did," she says.

So Hilary gives video dating her vote. In fact, she briefly ran her own high-tech service. Video dating lessens your chances of encountering false advertisers and ungentlemanly callers, she maintains. You see on videotape what your potential date looks and sounds like. "It humanizes the selection process," she says. "When you finally meet a person, you feel that you know him."

Most of Great Expectation's members are middle- to upper-income professionals. The fee entitles members to look through albums of resumes and photos, then view the videos of those people they might want to meet. "It's important that people chose their own dates. "We don't want to play God. If the client is successful, she should have herself to congratulate."

Erica agrees. The twenty-six-year-old actress joined Great Expectations three years ago. "I love attention from men," she says, "and video dating seemed like a good way to get it." She wasn't disappointed. One date took her on a trip in his hydroplane. Another sent her a dozen roses—before meeting her. "A psychiatrist I went out with through Great Expectations helped me get over my sexual inhibitions," says Erica. "And then I met Rick."

Now married, Rick, a dentist, and Erica live in a Hermosa Beach mansion. Says Erica, "Instead of sticking one fishing pole into the river, video dating lets you throw a big net into the ocean. You're assured of a bigger and better catch."