A Good Man is Hard to Find But Not Impossible as These Never-Before Married Women Prove …

"I'm mature, secure, accomplished. I know who I am." At this, Jennifer, 41 and never married, gave me a wan smile. "I'd really be a perfect wife. But all the men my age are taken, or want younger women."

Jennifer's story is very familiar to me. In my therapy practice, I specialize in helping women who've postponed marriage find husbands. To me, she's one of many. To her, she's the only one.

It is true. If you're over 40 (or even close), your chances of finding the right man are much slimmer than those of younger women. You'll need luck, nerve, stamina and self-esteem to accomplish your goal of finding the right husband. Just like the best jobs, the few good men will go to the women who are creative and persistent.

"You were lucky," people often tell me. "Lucky to find such a handsome husband who loves you so much." What they really mean is, "You were lucky to find someone at your advanced age."

I was 39 when I met my husband, 42 when we married. We met at Great Expectations, a video dating service in Los Angeles. Because we lived across town from each other and had totally different friends, we'd have never met without the help of the service.

Luck had something to do with it, but so did my willingness to try something different, and then perseverance in giving it a chance. My future husband was my 37th video date. We dated for a year and lived together for a year before we were married.

At our traditional garden wedding, friends were about equally split on whether we'd last. After eight years, we're doing great.

If you've put off marriage until "much later" than you imagined you would, it's not too late. Many other women postponed marriage and have found wonderful husbands.

From: American Woman Author: Tracy Cabot, Ph.D. is the author of Marrying Later, Marrying Smarter: How Women Over 30 Can Use Their Savvy and Experience To Attract Exciting, Marriageable Men (Dell).